Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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