A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.
Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck.
The lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
Drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like muffing your sister, it tastes the same but something's not right about it.
Someone calls at the hotline:
Good evening.
I’ve just installed Windows 98...
So?
Wheel I have a problem...
Ok, ok, you just said that...
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
Vote:
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
Vote:
Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
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Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out.
Then the ball hits you.
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