Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out.
Then the ball hits you.
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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