Did you know Chuck Norris's tears was the curernto Cansa, but the problem was he never ever cried.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
What's grosser than gross?
Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.
What's grosser than that?
Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.
What's grosser than that?
When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face.
You want to know what's grosser than that?
When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner.
But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
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Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?
A: A private tooter.
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There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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