Best jokes ever

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 40 lb.
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More jokes about: marriage
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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More jokes about: marriage
Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
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More jokes about: IT
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
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More jokes about: bar, bartender, marriage, wife
Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
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More jokes about: business, kids
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
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More jokes about: kids
What fits your schedule better...... Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?
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More jokes about: fat, time
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
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More jokes about: animal, dog, food
Teacher: “How do you spell “dog”?” Boy: “D, o, g, enter.”
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More jokes about: school
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, kids