Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
A Chuck Norris round house kick is considered the first "super-collider".
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
What's red and dances all around? A baby on a barbecue