She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.
He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.