Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water... That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris? His foot.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth. The Priests confess his sins.
The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.