Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.