Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.