I’ve know John a long time and am considered a bit of a father figure to him.
I have watched him crawl around on his knees, drink from a bottle and I’ve cleaned up after him but enough about the Bachelor Party.
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat?
Divorce him.
What does a drunk walrus have in common with a woman at a tupperware party?
They're both out looking for a tight seal.
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
Yo mama so stupid she thought that 2 quarters were the famous singer every one said wow she's so "right".
Question: How many men does it take to open a beer?
Answer: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous?
Get back!
I have no idea how big it grows!
What kind of car does a rabbit drive?
A furrari.
The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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