Best jokes ever

Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A very short painter walks into a Parisian bar and offers to buy his friend a drink. His friend, rushing out of the door, shouts, ‘Can’t stop now, no time Toulouse.’
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
Q: Why is it OK for blondes to catch cold? A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, men, women
Q: Why doesn't Simon Cowell drink whiskey? A: Because it makes him mean!
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
He used to drink so much, Gordon’s thought he was a wholesaler.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
He’s such an alcoholic, when pink elephants get drunk, they see him.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper. 'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, money
Harry staggers exhausted into his house. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks his wife. ‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Harry. ‘You idiot,’ says his wife. ‘If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner.’
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money