Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
What did the music teacher need a ladder for? To reach the top notes.
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k? A joystick does its job.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.
Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.