Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Yo mama is so fat she got on a scale and it said: One person at a time please!
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
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Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com
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The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
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Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.
Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Daddy to his son:
I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
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