Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Yo mama so heavy that when she went in the elevator as soon as one foot goes in falls strait to the bottom.
I have found a new girlfriend, so I have introduced her to my grandmother, because the is the oldest and very clever. We have spoken a little bit and so on. The next day I have asked my grandmother, what she thinks of my new girlfriend, she said only: Johny, Johny, what shall I tell you, again, you have praid not much...rnrn
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There's a blonde walking down a trail. She comes to a river and stops. She looks right then left. She sees another blonde on the other side. She asks her "how do you get to the other side?" The blonde on the other side look right then left and says "you are on the other side"!
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.