Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
One dinosaur said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Another dinosaur said "A non-renewable recourse!"
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."
Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.