‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
Yo mamma’s so fat, her belly button looks like a black hole!
A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches." But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."
A blonde asks a bypasser: Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is? It's on the other side. Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts... I know what has happened to you. And what? You've broken your finger.
What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.
"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire. "Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!
Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.