A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
The crocodile told him, "Please let me go.
I'll grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay.
I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying.
Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby.
I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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The soldier serving in Iraq was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
Why did the Irishman wear two condoms?
To be sure, to be sure.
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar?
A: A jar of mayonnaise.
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