Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Johnny Walks in his parents room finding his dad with his dick in his mom's pussy.
Johnny asks his dad " Can realatives Have babies if they fuck?"
"Of course not johnny" his dad replied.
the very next day johnny was his room stuffing his dick in his 14 year old's pussy and humping her. "ohhhhh Johnny!
Fuck Me Harder!" his sister yelled.
I am! johnny said.
then his sister gave johnny a blowjob to make his dick bigger.
"Now I Can Fuck Better!" said Little Johnny.
Then Johnny Fucked His Sister How He Saw His Dad Doing To His Mom.
Then his parents came into his room and his mom saw his huge cock and said "Johnny That Sure Is Big! "Well Your Next Mom!" Johnny replied
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A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
The crocodile told him, "Please let me go.
I'll grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay.
I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying.
Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby.
I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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The soldier serving in Iraq was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."