The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 40 lb.
Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.
One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.