Q: What have condoms and tires in common?
A: Good year.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly.
After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says
"If my proof falls then I rome through the halls."
Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob.
The man is confused and says "what are you doing?"
She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some."
The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did.
Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good.
The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping
"Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch."
Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?"
She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Why do women fart after they take a piss?
Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.
Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles?
A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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