Q:How does a bear start a race? A: READY, TEDDY, GO!
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired? It got toad!!
Most men regard blondes as a golden opportunity.
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
What can save a dying blonde? Hair transplants.
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.