A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.
You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair. The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro. So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro? She said yes, so I was glad. Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.