Best jokes ever

Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
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More jokes about: football, marriage, school, sport
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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More jokes about: chemistry, geek, nerd
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore
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More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.
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More jokes about: alcohol, kids
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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More jokes about: animal, work
Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.
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More jokes about: computer, cop
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. "Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back." "I had the same thing man," his friend says. "All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes." "That's it?" the guy asked. "I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents." About a week later the guy gets a call. "How's it going with the mice, buddy?" "Not so good, dude." "What's the problem?" his friend asks. "To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."
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More jokes about: school
Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
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More jokes about: life
Yo momma’s so ugly, she makes onions cry.
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More jokes about: Yo mama


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