Q: Who is the saddest grandma in the world?
A: Grandma of a vegan.
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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike?
Because she didn't have any arms.
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What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted, without prior experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.
She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to unplug the horse.
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What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They re both brown, except the snowball.
How many auditors does it take to change a
light bulb?
How many did it take last year?
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
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CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.