Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
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Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?
A: He was already taking out a tooth.
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds?
A: That they are twenty…
I met a sista once who told me she could tell how good a brotha is in bed simply by the way he opens the door to his apartment.
So, I asked her how.
She said if that brotha fumbles with the keys, that means he doesn't know what he's doing.
If he opens the door too quick, means he's too fast and he's a total waste of time.
But if that brotha opens the door with a smooth, controlled movement, that means he's real good in bed.
Then she asked me how I open the door to my apartment.
I told her, "Honey, I lick the lock first."
Why are blacks afraid of lawn mowers?
Because it goes run nigger nigger run.
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Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Q: What have condoms and tires in common?
A: Good year.