My math teacher called me average...
How mean!
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Q: What have condoms and tires in common?
A: Good year.
What did the music teacher need a ladder for?
To reach the top notes.
What’s the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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