In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
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Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
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Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry