In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry