In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.