I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions'
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Two Bear Hunters
Two men went bear hunting.
While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.
He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.
Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem!
Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks.
They speak for themselves.
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How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
It's a place of udder delight.
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem.
He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion.
The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
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