What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A whine and cheese party.
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.
He never got married. He said he didn’t want to make the same mistake once.
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.