The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.
Q: What vegetables to librarians like? A: Quiet peas.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."