On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Q: How do you blindfold a Gook?
A: You use dental floss.
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’
Les Dawson
Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions'
I live like a medieval knight.
Every night I go to sleep with a battleaxe at my side.
Yo momma’s so fat, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.