Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
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Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor.
"Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth.
I lie about my age.’
Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle.
Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags.
The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?"
"Just sand," replied Jose.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.