There a ventriloquist telling blond joke .
A blond comes storming up on stage and start says"blonds can be smart to you know,and I'm smart, I should know."
The ventriloquist says" ok ok I'm sorry I won't do it again" then the blond says "you shut up and stay out of this cuz I'm talking to the jurk on your knee"
How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor.
"Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
I live like a medieval knight.
Every night I go to sleep with a battleaxe at my side.
Yo momma’s so fat, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.
Wife to husband: ‘You certainly made a fool of yourself last night.
I just hope nobody realised you were sober.’
‘Why don’t you go home to your wife.
Better yet, I’ll go home to your wife and, outside of the improvement, she won’t notice any difference.’ Groucho Marx
Two Bear Hunters
Two men went bear hunting.
While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.
He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.
Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem!