Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on.
All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week.
The situation works wonderfully for five years.
When the woman suddenly dies...
The first week after wasn't too bad.
The second week was geting sort of bad.
The third week was getting pretty bad.
The fourth week was really bad.
The fifth week was horrible!
By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
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Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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