Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why can’t gypsies have babies?
Because their husbands have crystal balls.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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The following conversation took place in school.
Teacher: "So we are all descended from Adam and Eve."
Young kid: "My dad says we came from apes."
Teacher: "That's probably true for your family Abdul."
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
Money.