Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
Money.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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I have a scary joke about math but im 2² to say it.
Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the jetsons?
A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn't it?
Yo Mama's so stupid because it too her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.