A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony. She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A whine and cheese party.
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.
He never got married. He said he didn’t want to make the same mistake once.
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.