Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games. 
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks.
They speak for themselves.
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How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
It's a place of udder delight.
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem.
He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion.
The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
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Jesus walks into a hotel, rings the bell, and waits for the receptionist to come out.
He looks her dead in the eye, slams three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
Chuck Norris' tears would save lives, if he'd cry.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite.
‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk.
‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
Yo momma’s so ugly, she can look up a camel’s butt and scare its hump off.