Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
Chuck Norris can stop the music.
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up".
Yo mama's so poor when she heard about the last supper, she thought she ran out of food stamps.