Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions'
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend?
A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
Answer: Lipstick.
The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?
Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"
When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
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How far can you spit.
Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
Vote:
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street?
Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.