Yo mama so fat she wouldn't fit in 10,000 movie seat's.
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything."
After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.
After hesitating, they all did it.
"Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
My mother in law is so ugly that her face is like a masturbated dick!
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A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?"
The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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