Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"
A programmer went to the store to buy milk.
His partner said, "While you're there, buy eggs."
The programmer never returned.
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Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
How do you steal a Mexicans home?
Hook it up to your truck and drive off.
Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
Yo mama so fat she the one that caused global warming when she farted.
Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
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