Best jokes ever

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 37.03 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: military
Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: football, sport
There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, sport
Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: beauty, customer service, work
Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, health, kids
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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