Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What’s the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? Drunks don’t have to go to the meetings.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
How is an earnest lawyer called? An oxymoron.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Your mamma is so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: phone, stupid, Yo mama
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, sir. You’re obviously drunk” The wasted wino asked, “Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.” Obviously relieved, the wino said “That’s a relief - I thought I was a cripple.”
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop
An Iraqi goes to the bank to get his salary from a French Company. The Saudi manager of the bank asks him to sign on the back of the check. "That's humiliation," shouts the Iraqi, "why should the French sign on the front and I sign on the back. I want my money NOW!" The Saudi refuse to pay him and the Iraqi keeps shouting in the bank then the American high manager comes with a 5kg hammer and knocks the Iraqi on the head. After 5 minutes the Iraqi wakes up, signs the back of the check and gets his money. The Saudi clerk goes to the Iraqi and asks, "Tell me why you didn't sign the check the first time but signed it later on?" The Iraqi said, "You missed the point, you just told it to me, but the American explained it."
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
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