How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
Yo mama so bald, when she goes to bed, her head slips off the pillow.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy?
You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank.
I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up.
I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
What's the fastest thing in the world?
A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve.
What's the second fastest thing in the world?
The Indians running after it.
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch.
He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
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How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ?
The stories of whites start: Once upon a time...
The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
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