Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy?
You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank.
I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up.
I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
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What's the fastest thing in the world?
A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve.
What's the second fastest thing in the world?
The Indians running after it.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch.
He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
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How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ?
The stories of whites start: Once upon a time...
The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
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Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
A: There are twenty of them.
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