Best jokes ever

Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: sport
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a beer and after drinking it he looks into his pocket. The man responded, " I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, "I'll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye." The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass eye and bites it. He has a few more drinks and asks for his bill again. The bartender reports that his bill now is thirty dollars plus tip. He bets the bartender he can bite his other eye. The bartender accepts knowing the man can't possibly have two glass eyes. The guy then proceeds by taking out his false teeth and biting his other eye.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: Why are tigers religious? A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick. A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her. ‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says. ‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde. ‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde wanders into a library and says, ‘Can I have a burger and fries?’ The librarian says, ‘I’m sorry, but this is a library.’ The blonde whispers, ‘Can I have a burger and fries?’
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde
He drank like a fish. Which would have been okay if he’d drunk what the fish drinks.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
How do you change a blonde’s mind? Blow in her ear.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: sport
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