Your mom so dumb she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation." The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn’t drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn’t collect welfare, and doesn’t rape White women? An inmate.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."