Q: Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician? A: Drummers.
In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers? A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
Q: Two Mexican cousins are in the front seat of a car who's in the back? A: their children
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
I think I just evolved into Homo Erectus.
What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A cherry float.
What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.