Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me."
Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?"
Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."
Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop.
J(ohnny):I want a pistol
S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
J: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
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What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper?
Warren.
Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
Answer: You don’t.
There’s a clock on the stove.
‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital.
They lay there and looked at each other.
Their families came and took them away.
Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other.
One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’
Steven Wright
Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men?
It changes their blood type.