Best jokes ever

Q: Do you know how Chinese people name their children? A: They throw some pans and based on the noises they make like "ting tang," "Dung dung", "Ting tang dung"

Your mama is so black you can only see her eyes and teeth at night.

Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.

Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."

There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!

Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’ Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’ Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’

What's black and white, black and white, and black and white? (A panda bear rolling down a hill!)

Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."