Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh- Moooooo!
Yo mama is so black when she went outside the street lights turned on!
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.
Why do black people have white hands? They were up against the wall when God spray painted them!