Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce?
A: Ten thousand!
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers?
A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
Q. Why was the blonde in the tree?
A. Because she was raking up the leaves!
Yo Momma's so ugly, she has to get her vibrator drunk!
I hate paying my income tax.
You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
I'd like to but they insist on money.
It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
A group of blondes was going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer.
A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though.
One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day, I am going to dial 911 and call the cops!"
He never got married.
He said he didn’t want to make the same mistake once.
Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Contrary to popular belief, Harry’s mother and father were married.
Not to each other.
But they were married.