Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher.
When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.
The teacher frowned and passed him by.
No kids, however, could offer her a solution.
Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.
Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation."
The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!!
We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87.
And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
Q: How do you know if your baby is dead?
A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
Can I dock my rocket at your space station?
Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise".
What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
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