Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper. 'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? "You keep hearing about them, but never see any."
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!