Best jokes ever

Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? All the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the USA.
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has 32.59 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: sport
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
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has 32.59 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, old people
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. "How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo. "That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!! "That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?" "Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?" Quasimodo came out and said... "I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: work
How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, memory
Blonde Overdue A blonde goes into a library and cheerfully says, "Hi! I'm here to see the doctor!" In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, "Miss, this is a library." So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
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