Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chuck Norris can Moonwalk on the Sun.
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed. Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.