Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
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There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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