Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
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Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.
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