Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
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Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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He, who laughs last, laughs best.
He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
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He opens the door then turns the handle.
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