Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Chuck Norris' tears would save lives, if he'd cry.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.