Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor.
That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
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When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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