Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
Why did the policman cry? because he couldn"t take his Panda to bed!
Young, blond, sexy, extreme sports amateur, nice body, long legs, sells truck...
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they leave to go answer the door.
What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.