A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra.
Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
Q: Do you know how Chinese people name their children?
A: They throw some pans and based on the noises they make like "ting tang," "Dung dung", "Ting tang dung"
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a bl*wjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes.
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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