Best jokes ever

Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
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More jokes about: men
A man walks into the sheriff's office.... "I want to become a deputy!" "Good, I want to you to catch this man" says the sheriff handling the man a wanted poster. The poster reads: 'Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots.' "What's he wanted for?" asked the hopeful yound man. "Rustling."
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How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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More jokes about: men
It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals. At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him. "Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "It's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat! What's up with that I wonder!" The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife. We went to the games together." "Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously. "She passed away," said the gentleman. "Oh, I'm sorry, you could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man. Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No, they're all at the funeral."
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More jokes about: funeral, game, sport
Yo momma’s so fat, when she dances the band skips.
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More jokes about: alcohol
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
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More jokes about: animal
Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
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More jokes about: lawyer
Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
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He was so mean he had the house sound-proofed so the children wouldn’t be able to hear the ice cream van.
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More jokes about: money
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
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More jokes about: animal