My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
Q: Do you know how Chinese people name their children?
A: They throw some pans and based on the noises they make like "ting tang," "Dung dung", "Ting tang dung"
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a bl*wjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes.
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
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