Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night?
A: They don't want to get "beat up".
Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
Vote:
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time."
The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit.
She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off.
So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick.
All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day.
He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights.
All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
Vote:
Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
Vote:
Q: What's brown and in the military?
A: Gomer's pile.
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Q: How are rape and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave
A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp.
He rubs it and two blonde genies come out.
They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants.
So he makes his wishes...
he wakes up in bed with 50 of the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he'd just made love to all of them.
Then he walks outta the bed and opens a treasure chest filled with more money than you could ever imagine...
then two KKK members come riding in on horses, throw a noose over a tree and hang him...
The KKK members take off their masks and its the two blonde genies one of them says to the other:
"I can understand why he wanted to sleep with all the women, I know why he wanted a chest full of money...
but I can't figure out why the hell he would wanna be hung like a nigger..."
Q: Whats faster than a black person with a TV?
A: His brother with a VCR.
Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.