Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!
There are two cows in a field.
One says to the other:
"So what do you think of mad cow disease?"
The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary.
So he decides to buy her a cell phone.
She is all excited - she loves her phone.
He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.
"Hi Hon," he says.
"How do you like your new phone?"
She replies, "I just love it.
It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell.
There's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
A married couple had gotten into an argument and for many days had not been talking to each other.
Instead they were writing notes back and forth.
One evening the husband walked up to the wife and handed her a note that said, “Wake me up tomorrow at 6 in the morning.”
When he woke up the next morning it was 9.
He immediately got angry with his wife and turned around to speak to her.
On her pillow was a note that said, “Wake up, it’s 6!”
What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online?
Thomas the search engine.
Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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Q: What's brown and in the military?
A: Gomer's pile.
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Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night?
A: They don't want to get "beat up".
Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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