When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online?
Thomas the search engine.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Yo mama so bald, when she braids her hair, it looks like stitches.
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband.
When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties.
"Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!"
The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Q: What is a zebra?
A: A horse behind bars.
A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
There are two cows in a field.
One says to the other:
"So what do you think of mad cow disease?"
The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
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Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!