A local charity organization realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity.
Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the donation seeker mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The person coming for donation began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister`s husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer`s voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The person who came asking for donation felt completely humiliated and said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don`t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
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Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
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Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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