Best jokes ever

A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender. "Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that." The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks. Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, money
How come the women loves the PC? It’s easier to turn on!
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, love
A guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says, "you ain't from around here...where you from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Pennsylvania." The bartender asks, "Whatchu do up in Pennsylvania?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist...what the hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says, "I mount dead animals." The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us."
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider. "Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by providing me with sexual favors." The priest contemplated this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of your acts, and judge you kindly." "Thank you Father," said the old man. "That's a load off my mind! Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo mama's so black she went to night school and got marked absent.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: IT
Tom was a model husband. Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Marriage is bit like having a meal at a self-service buffet: you get exactly what you want, but when you see what another man’s got on his plate you fancy a bit of that as well.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I got home and found a man in bed with my wife. I said, ‘Who said you could sleep with my wife?’ He said, ‘Everybody.’
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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