A local charity organization realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity.
Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the donation seeker mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The person coming for donation began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister`s husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer`s voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The person who came asking for donation felt completely humiliated and said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don`t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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Q: Who were the first two black women?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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You know what I was thinking about right now?
What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.