The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
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Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!"
His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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Q: Who were the first two black women?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!
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