Chuck Norris made time wait.
Vote:
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
Vote:
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: December 30th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year
Why do blondes like lightning?
"They think someone is taking their picture."
A white horse goes into a bar, and orders a pint of bitter.
"Blimey," the barman says, "we sell a whisky named after you."
"What, Eric?" says the horse.
I had two women in my bed the other day.
I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
Yo momma’s so ugly, she pretends she’s someone else when she’s having sex.