When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that. When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A: A spec.
A mother picked her son up from school and began to ask him about his day. “How do you like your new teacher,” she asked. “I don’t. She told me to sit in the front of the class for the present. But then she didn’t end up by giving me one!”
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
What’s the sex? The sex in a disease. You always get in bed because of it.