In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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If your girlfriend never makes you angry, she is fake. A real one acts like an evil spirit.
Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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You know what I was thinking about right now?
What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor.
A white family lives on the top floor.
A mexican family lives on the second floor.
A nigger family lives on the botom floor.
At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it.
Which family lived?
The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
One morning Lil Johnny walks into the classroom with no shirt on.
Teacher looks at him and asks where he has been.Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
The next day Johnny walks in with no pants on.
Teacher looks at him and asks where have you been.
Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
The next day Johnny comes in completly naked.
The teacher gasps and asks Johnny again where hes been.
Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
Johnny looks over his shoulder and sighs her she comes now.
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Q: How do you get a black out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
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Lady, how many sex partners have you had?
Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.