I had two women in my bed the other day.
I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: December 30th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year
Why do blondes like lightning?
"They think someone is taking their picture."
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
Vote:
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris made time wait.
Vote:
I'm not saying I'm racist at all, but...
I put chocolate milk in back of the fridge.
10 things men don't say
1)Let's watch Lifetime.
2)Sex is overrated.
3)I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.
5)Don't we owe your mother a visit?
6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.
7)Dessert goes right to my hips.
8)I hate when I miss Oprah.
9)Does this suit make me look fat?
10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Vote:
Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."