Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: December 30th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year
Why do blondes like lightning?
"They think someone is taking their picture."
A white horse goes into a bar, and orders a pint of bitter.
"Blimey," the barman says, "we sell a whisky named after you."
"What, Eric?" says the horse.
I had two women in my bed the other day.
I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
10 things men don't say
1)Let's watch Lifetime.
2)Sex is overrated.
3)I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.
5)Don't we owe your mother a visit?
6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.
7)Dessert goes right to my hips.
8)I hate when I miss Oprah.
9)Does this suit make me look fat?
10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Vote:
Q: What do you call the most powerful white man on the planet?
A: The President of the Unit...sh*t.
Vote:
I've some bread dough in my pants.
Wanna see if it rises?
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
Vote:
That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
Vote: