A javelin thrower called Vicky
Found the grip of her javelin sticky.
When it came to the throw
She couldn't let go.
Making judging the distance quite tricky.
Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: December 30th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year
Why do blondes like lightning?
"They think someone is taking their picture."
A white horse goes into a bar, and orders a pint of bitter.
"Blimey," the barman says, "we sell a whisky named after you."
"What, Eric?" says the horse.
I had two women in my bed the other day.
I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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