Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.