Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig. That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Knock-knock. Who is there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you're doing and have a happy Valentines Day!
Yo Mamma's mouth is like a pool table balls go in balls go out she gets paid and there is a new player every day.
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class? A: your 25 year old mom.
Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces? Nothing all the good ones are taken.
Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage? They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? (A bear-faced lyre!)
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.