Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year's hide and seek champion.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch ’n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Priest to woman: ‘I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband.’ Woman: ‘Who’s going to look?’
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.