It's legal to earn money playing hockey
Many people play hockey even after they're married
The puck's always hard
The protective equipment is reusable
It lasts at least an hour
A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
You always know how big the stick is
You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
You can change players on the fly
You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
Your parents cheer when you score
Periods last only 20 minutes
You're sure to get it at least twice a week
You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
"Hello"
"Hello"
"Is that you, James?"
"Yes, this is James."
"Are you sure this is James."
"Yes I'm sure, this is James!"
"This is Robert... can you lend me twenty dollars?"
"I'll tell James when he comes in."
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
"Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1. "What's a light bulb?"
A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
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Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan?
A: With a dustpan.
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How do you know when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
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What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
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E=mc squared.
E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them.
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets?
A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
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