What do you call an alcoholic dog? A whino!
The six front keys have rotted out.
What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year? "Forty-eight years old."
How did the blonde burn her nose? Bobbing for chips.
Hey babe, let's play football! You can have first down. High five!
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
‘If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.’ John Paul Getty A woman rings her insurance company. ‘Our house burnt down and I want £100,000,’ she says.
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights? High five!