He doesn’t drink anything stronger than pop.
Mind you Pop will drink anything.
Why did the idiot put starch in his whisky?
needed a stiff drink.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone’s been in a 747.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes?
So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
Why is money green?
Because people usually pick it before it's ripe!
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."