Best jokes ever

One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood." The second one says, "I'll have one, too." The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma." The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I make money the old-fashioned way. My salary is the same as it was ten years ago
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
A couple are arguing over money. ‘Do you know,’ says the man. ‘If it weren’t for my money this house wouldn’t be here at all.’ ‘Yes,’ says his wife. ‘And if it weren’t for your money neither would I.’
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: sport
Many people get valuable furniture on hire purchase, it’s not that expensive when they buy it, but by the time it’s paid for they’re usually antiques.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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