My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.
John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter. He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Lenin dies and goes to Saint Peter to tell him whether to go to hell or heaven. There was a big problem among the saints because the half of them wanted him to hell and the other half in Paradise. Then they asked God, who of course tells them to go to Hell. After a week of being in hell, devil visited St. Peter and complained: "This Lenin will destroy me. One week in Hell only and he has already started their courses and demonstrations." St. Peter much forced agrees to accept Lenin in Paradise. From that day and then there was a disturbing silence. After two months St. Peter goes to heaven and he sees what? Everyone sitting around and Lenin standing in the middle and talking. Among the distinguished listeners the Saint recognises Jesus Christ. He calls him and says: "God will punish you" And he answers: "Who? God? But God does not exist."
I'll have you saying, "My compliments to the chef" in no time!
Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ? A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.
What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.