Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
How many cop jokes are there?
Just two, all the rest are true!
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall?
A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
What would you do if a Blonde threw a hand grenade right at you?
"Just pull the pin and throw it back."
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
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