Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s whiteout on the screen.
How can you tell if two blondes have been using the computer?
There’s writing on the whiteout.
How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two.
One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
Sign over a pub bar: ‘Due to the recent water shortage, beer will now be served at full strength.’
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish.
The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish."
The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
How many cop jokes are there?
Just two, all the rest are true!