What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
How many cop jokes are there?
Just two, all the rest are true!
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall?
A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
What would you do if a Blonde threw a hand grenade right at you?
"Just pull the pin and throw it back."
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
Q. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A. Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.