How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s whiteout on the screen.
How can you tell if two blondes have been using the computer?
There’s writing on the whiteout.
How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two.
One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
Sign over a pub bar: ‘Due to the recent water shortage, beer will now be served at full strength.’
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish.
The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish."
The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
What's grosser than gross?
A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
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How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
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A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses.
Which hits the ground first?
The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Gulp.
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