Many people get valuable furniture on hire purchase, it’s not that expensive when they buy it, but by the time it’s paid for they’re usually antiques.
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
What’s the difference between an insurance company actuary and a Mafia actuary?
An insurance company actuary can tell you how many people will die this year, a Mafia actuary can name them.
Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 BC!
He was so poor he didn’t even get a yo-yo for Christmas.
His parents could only afford a yo.
Harry, to Tom: ‘I went to the dentist this morning.’
Tom: ‘So does your tooth still hurt?’
Harry: ‘I don’t know; he kept it.’
He used to drink so much, Gordon’s thought he was a wholesaler.
How do you determine a blonde’s IQ?
With a tyre gauge.
We were so poor our mother would send us out with a shopping list to chase the garbage truck.