Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film? They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"
What did the blonde say about blonde jokes? She said they were pretty good, but might offend some Puerto Ricans.
He was such a big baby that the doctor was afraid to slap him.
Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Q: What do you call a bunch of black people running up a hill? A: Backed up sewage.
"Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sunbath!
What fits your schedule better...... Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?