What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk?
A: The utter side.
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one
What a HippoCrip.
A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches."
But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that.
When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
There is a four story building.
On the fourth story there is a butcher, on the third story there is a guy with a really long dick, on the second story there is a painter who likes to paint things green, and on the first story there is a guy who loves to eat pickles.
So one day, the guy on the third story had a problem, his dick was too hot so he stuck it out the window.
Then the butcher thought it was salami and he chopped it off.
It then fell down to the second story were the painter painted it green and accidentally threw it out the window and fell down in the pickle jar of the first story.
Suddenly the guy in the first story picked the painted piece of dick from the jar and ate it.
He then told his wife:
Ohh this pickle is yummy, especially with the white filling!
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
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