Best jokes ever

I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood." The second one says, "I'll have one, too." The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma." The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I make money the old-fashioned way. My salary is the same as it was ten years ago
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
A couple are arguing over money. ‘Do you know,’ says the man. ‘If it weren’t for my money this house wouldn’t be here at all.’ ‘Yes,’ says his wife. ‘And if it weren’t for your money neither would I.’
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: sport
Many people get valuable furniture on hire purchase, it’s not that expensive when they buy it, but by the time it’s paid for they’re usually antiques.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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