Best jokes ever

Two old ladies are in a restaurant. One complains, "You know, the food here is just terrible." The other shakes her head and adds, "And such small portions."

There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."

Did you hear about the 9 year old African nigglet? He was going through a mid-life crisis.

Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.

Q: What do you call an African American documentary? A: Planet of the Apes.

"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."

In South Africa a nigger was walking with a parrot on his shoulder and on his way he meets with a white guy. He is so cute! Does he speak? Asks the white guy. I don’t know I just bought him! Says the parrot.

Your Mama's so black, when the cops were shooting at her, the bullets went back for flashlights.

God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.

Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.