Best jokes ever

A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?" The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes." So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are." So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery. She then comes back and says "Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde, technology
A dazzling woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy. Are you the manager? she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, No”, he replies. Can you get him for me I need to speak to him. She is running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. I’m afraid that I can’t, breathes the barman, clearly aroused. Is there anything I can do? “Yes, there is”. I need you to give him a message, she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. “Tell him that there is no Toilet Paper in the ladies room.”
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, husband
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
An old man asks a blond: If a guy would try to rape you, will you scream for help? If he can’t manage me by himself off course!
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Little Billy looks at the chimpanzees from the zoo. Mama, little Billy shouts, this monkey looks like our neighbour, Mr. Danny. Billy, it’s not polite to talk like that! Why? The chimpanzee doesn’t understand...
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A young lawyer says to ones of his colleagues: -A lawyer is the freest creature in the world. He’s not dependent of nothing except of his clients, his colleagues, judge and of the High Court...!
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I thought I told you to lose weight. Says the coach. What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep? Well, I finished it in three days!
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: sport
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, “meow”, the cop says, “oh, its only a cat” He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, “woof, woof”. The cop says, “its only a dog”. He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, “potato”
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: cop
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