The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.
The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
What do we do with crude oil?
Teach it some manners!
What fits your schedule better......
Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar.
The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate?
A: Fuck if I know
Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps?
Under his work boots.
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
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