A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses.
Which hits the ground first?
The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
Vote:
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
What's grosser than gross?
A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
Vote:
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
Vote:
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Vote:
Two old ladies are in a restaurant.
One complains, "You know, the food here is just terrible."
The other shakes her head and adds, "And such small portions."
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There once was two people Lisa and Brian
They got married and had a child.
The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso.
So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body.
So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever.
When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out.
When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out.
After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body.
As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died.
The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps?
Under his work boots.
Q: What do you call an African American documentary?
A: Planet of the Apes.
Vote:
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."