In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
Vote:
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
Vote:
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
Vote:
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
Question: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
Q: What did the police do when 241 hares got loose?
A: They combed the area!
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
After some time I saw my doctor and he prescribed me a receipt, but he had prescribed me this receipt in the name of his mother Mrs. Ingrid, by mistake.
I didn´t notice it, took this receipt, went to the drug-store, gave the receipt to the pharmacist together with the insurance card with the name John on it.
The pharmacist took a look at me and has told me: "Dear, Mrs. Ingrid the name on the receipt doesn´t correspond with the name on the insurance card."
A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class.
Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate.
After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.