We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
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Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
Question: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
Q: What did the police do when 241 hares got loose?
A: They combed the area!
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?