He was so mean he had the house sound-proofed so the children wouldn’t be able to hear the ice cream van.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers? A: They have two left feet.
Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den. 9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit. 10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
How do you entertain a blonde? tell her to find a corner in a circle room
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
Q: Why do two skunks argue? A: Because they like to kick up a stink.
What did the blonde get on her IQ test? Saliva.