Best jokes ever

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
Vote:
has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: football, money, sport
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp. After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter." So, she became a redhead. The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is." She became a brunette. The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!" So, she became a man.
Vote:
has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
Vote:
has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: kids
Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it!
Vote:
has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Vote:
has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
Vote:
has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Vote:
has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Hey" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."
Vote:
has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde, travel
Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
Vote:
has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. "I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer! Get out of my bar!" Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"
Vote:
has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, drunk
<<<1375137613771378
More jokes →
Page 1375 of 1428.