One day President Trump's motorcade was heading to the Mexican border to see first hand progress on The Wall.
All of a sudden a naked lone figure was seen bent over on the side of the road.
Wanting to help the president ordered the motorcade to stop.
He got out and approached the figure and suddenly realized it was Nancy Pelosi.
She was naked with her wrists handcuffed to her ankles.
The president said, "OMG Nancy what happened?"
She cried out that she was kidnapped by a bunch of people wearing MAGA hats and left to die!
The president said "Well I'm not going to let that happen" as he was unzipping his zipper.
He yelled out to the motorcade "OK boys the line starts behind me"
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven.
And everyone who goes to heaven has to work.
God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies.
Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out.
For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired.
As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.
I haven’t been the same since my testicles dropped.
Mind you, I was hanging from a tree by them at the time.
Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Why would the cannibal only eat babies?
He was on a diet!
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?