Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please.
The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes.
So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black.
The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please.
The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes.
The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde?
The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.
How to catch a polar bear:
Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond.
Cut a large hole in the ice.
Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file.
Hide behind a nearby rock.
When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court.
The judge says, "do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no!
he beats me!".
The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?" "no! she beats me too!".
So the judge says, "who do you want to live with then?"
The kid says, "The Cleveland Browns...they can't beat anybody!"
Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
A: No Cubs
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, "I was attacked! I was attacked!"
The cop said, "When?"
She said, "Twenty-three years ago."
The cop said, "What are you telling me now for?"
The little old lady said, "I just like to talk about it once in a while."
What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
"Darling."
Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie.
They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk.
The problem was getting Ken to listen.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?