How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box?
High five!
Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in the sand?
Football practice.
What’s the best way to stop water coming into your house?
Don’t pay the water bill.
An old miser comes into the bank with a huge bag of coins.
‘Gracious,’ says the bank teller.
‘Did you hoard all that yourself?’
‘No,’ replies the miser.
‘My sister whored most of it.’
‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’
Sue Murphy
How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s whiteout on the screen.
How can you tell if two blondes have been using the computer?
There’s writing on the whiteout.
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her bra?
‘Thanks for the refill.’