There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette.
They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look.
"As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette.
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again.
"Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
One day a British came to India.
He met a pan wala.
He asked can you teach me Hindi.
The betel man agreed.
He said "Ye mera pan patta,yeh tumhare pan patta, yeh ham Sabka pan patta".
The Britisher said "Yeh mera pant phatta,yeh tumhara pant phatta,yeh ham Sabka pant phatta".
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YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.
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Yo mamma so stupid she put her iPhone in the blender and thought it would turn into apple juice.
What’s the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
Pizza doesn’t scream in the roaster!
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