Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. "I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer! Get out of my bar!" Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
The boxer fells down in the fourth round. The referee starts counting. Billy’s grandmother gets up on her legs from the first row and screams: Stop counting for nothing, he won’t get up! I know him from the buss...
After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded. The couch says to him: You should better take a decision! You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...
Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church. Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoid? Only one from 30.000 gets a man.
Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player. How come? Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!
A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!" The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"