A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, "I was attacked! I was attacked!" The cop said, "When?" She said, "Twenty-three years ago." The cop said, "What are you telling me now for?" The little old lady said, "I just like to talk about it once in a while."
What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? "Darling."
Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie. They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk. The problem was getting Ken to listen.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box? High five!
What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in the sand? Football practice.
What’s the best way to stop water coming into your house? Don’t pay the water bill.
Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach? Cats keep covering them with sand.